


Haunting Memories

by thingyoudowiththatthing



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, PTSD, Past Child Abuse, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-29
Updated: 2018-09-29
Packaged: 2019-07-20 10:21:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16135250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thingyoudowiththatthing/pseuds/thingyoudowiththatthing





	Haunting Memories

You ran. Without thought of the people around you. Without any direction in mind. Without hearing Bucky call your name behind you. You couldn’t outrun him. You knew that but you also weren’t trying. You just needed to get away from them; from your past and feelings you thought were long behind you. You had never thought you’d see them again or even if you did that they would still carry so much power over you. You were an Avenger. A protector of the earth and still your parents could make you feel like the small, scared child you once had been.

“Y/N stop,” Bucky was suddenly in front of you and you collided against his body. Partly because you simply didn’t have time to stop and partly because you needed to feel safe. His arms were the safest place in the world to you, so instead of pushing him away, you buried your face against his chest and you cried.

You knew you had to have scared and confused him, but Bucky being Bucky he didn’t show it. He just closed his arms around you, keeping you in a tight embrace. Neither of you cared you were standing in the middle of the street. You needed to find your strength again; to remember the strong woman you had become and not feel like the teenager whose only choice had been to run or slice her wrists. You had needed the pain to end one way or another.

Bucky gently guided you across the street without letting go of you once. He found a quiet park bench for you to sit down on, and he instantly pulled you closer once more. He didn’t speak. Bucky didn’t talk all that much. You didn’t need him too. There was an understanding between the two of you that didn’t need words. There were a trust and a friendship you were sure one day would become more. For now, friendship was all he could do and you were fine with that.

“They were my parents,” you sniffled against his chest, wanting to explain yourself. You knew he would never force you too, but you wanted him to know. You knew what made him who he was, so he deserved to know the same about you.

“They should never have been parents. I don’t remember them ever saying a loving word to me. I don’t remember them ever touching me without meaning to cause pain,” you pulled away slightly staring out into the park without really seeing anything. You remembered the belts, the bat, the fists. You remembered the days of being locked in your room without food. You remembered years of pain and abuse.

“There was an incident at my school. A terrorist attack or something I think. I was 15,” you mumbled. “Funnily enough it was the same day I had stolen a glass of sleeping pills form the doctor's office. I didn’t want to live the way I did anymore.”

Bucky kept quiet, but you felt his grip around your waist tighten as he brought you impossibly close to his side. You sniffled softly drying your eyes.

“Clint was among the agents sent to my school that day. He took one look at me and he just knew. He helped me run away. He put me up in one of his apartments. Made sure I had money for food. He was… well is a mess. So I started swinging by his apartment to make sure he ate and didn’t sleep all day. Five years later I followed him. He was like a brother to me. My hero. I wanted to do what he did. Fury caught me and Clint bailed me out again. He and Nat started training me. It’s years ago. I thought I was passed it. I didn’t think I would ever feel powerless again. Then I saw them and…” your voice cracked and Bucky pulled you back against his chest, letting your tears soak his shirt.

“Want me to stab them?” Bucky asked and a smile crept onto your lips as you shook your head.

“Shoot them?” he asked again and you looked at him, laughing but stopped when you saw the look on his face.

“You’re actually serious?” you bit your lip, still smiling. It was 50 shades of messed up, but you actually felt a warmth rush through your chest. He had just offered to murder your parents for you and you had never felt more loved.

He nodded, with a frown on his face as if he was trying to figure out what the right reaction to yours would be. You reached out to him, gently cupping his face and Bucky closed his eyes, responding to your soft touch.

“No. I hate them with everything I got. But no,” you smiled softly as Bucky opened his eyes and looked at you. “They are not worth what that would do to you. I just want to forget they exist.”

Your breath hitched in your throat when Bucky leaned a little closer to you. His breath was hot on your lips when he spoke.

“They’ll never lay a hand on you again. I promise.”

You smiled softly looking into his loving, steel blue eyes whispering you know that, before your lips met in a tender kiss, that bore a promise of a future filled with love and care. You’d never let anyone hurt each other ever again. You’d never show each other anything other than love.


End file.
